Having Babies

Sometimes I get afraid people will think I’m silly for getting pregnant soon after getting married (a little over 3 months). Mostly because I would have thought it was silly. When we were engaged, I asked Rick to give me at least 6 months before we started trying to have kids. It could have been longer, but hey, I’m getting old.

But one day I read this and God spoke to me.

Psalm 127
Unless the Lord builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early
and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one's youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Reading this, God showed me my heart and it’s fears and then He showed me the promises of His Word. I was convicted of two things.

The first was being afraid of what people (my family and close friends) would think of me. What would they say about me? Would they think I was crazy for not wanting more time alone with Rick? Would they think I was missing out on the newlywed years? Maybe. Does it matter? No. Because the promise of this verse is that children are from the Lord…a reward…they bring blessing to their parents…there is no shame.

The second is that I was afraid of the future. What if we couldn’t provide for our kids? What if we couldn’t buy a house? What if all the money I wanted to spend at Anthropologie suddenly went to diapers? Well, the first part of this psalm spoke to my anxieties: “…he gives to his beloved sleep.” The anxious don’t sleep well, but God’s beloved do. He cares for them, builds their house and watches over them. Now that is a promise.

So God spoke to me. He eased my fears. And then I very clearly knew what repentance and obedience looked like. I was to trust Him in all things and have kids. And now that I’m pregnant? I know that this is what God called me to do from the beginning…and that gives me great joy.

Blogger’s Note: I understand that there are perfectly good reasons to wait to have kids. And I’m not saying my story is the best one to follow. But it’s a good reminder that God is the one who sets our priorities.